It’s 2018 and a work colleague has an extra ticket to go see Deborah Frances-White, the brilliant UK comedian and host of The Guilty Feminist podcast. I’d not long left my ex-husband and was in my yes era. I was vaguely familiar with Deborah Frances-White, but I’d never listened to her podcast. That evening, I learnt that she begins every episode of the podcast with a phrase that would go on to change my reality in 2025: I’m a feminist but… I spent the seven years in between

Have you ever realised you’re actually horrible to yourself? Like you are so hard on yourself sometimes it borders on cruel? It shocked me one day when I realised the negative loop I’d get stuck in with myself and the relationship I had with myself. I prided myself on looking after myself, being well, working hard and going after what I wanted - all while having a relationship with myself that was, at times, pretty brutal. I just didn't realise because I thought that was nor