Are You Afraid You're Wasting Your Life?

Do you ever get that feeling that you're wasting your life?

You look around and think, it's not a bad life. In fact, in many ways, it's a good one. You've worked hard to get here. There are things you're grateful for. And yet, something doesn't quite feel right.

You can't always put your finger on it. You just have this feeling that the life you're living isn't quite the life you want to be living.

But you also feel like there's something wrong with wanting more, and try to convince yourself your current life should be enough?

That was me. That was once my life.

There were two things I used to be consumed by: my big desire for wanting more for my life, and the energy I poured into silencing this part of me.

I used to go about my days:

• Feeling like something was missing from my life, like I was on the wrong path.

• Feeling wrong for wanting more. Shouldn't this be enough?

• Being terrified of change and doing something "different". Terrified of being different.

• Frightened of the unknowns. What happens if I lose everything? What happens if I lose everyone, all because I want more?

• Trying to silence this part of me with food, exercise, new bed linen, holidays.

• Constantly bargaining with myself, trying to strike a deal. If you settle for this "good enough" life, at least you'll be safe, you won't be alone, and you'll have money.

Every single day, these heavy feelings.

All met with an even more intense fear that if I didn't do something, my life would go by and I would have never really lived. This big fear I'd get to my 80s and look back and realise I'd wasted my one precious life ignoring that tug that I wanted more.

✨

Last week, as I walked the streets of Paris hand-in-hand with my love, a feeling of contentment and spaciousness absorbed me, and I realised how far I'd come from that fear I was wasting my life.

I felt like I was noticing for the very first time – the absence of all of the above – whilst soaking in what it feels like to be in my life now.

The contentment, love and gratitude for the life I have right now.

And the confidence and spaciousness to listen to what I want, and let that be my guide.

This beautiful way of being now, where I can love where I am right now AND be confident in wanting and going after more.

My life 1000% feels like mine. I am in my life, living my life. Not on the outside, observing it with fear.

I love being able to ask myself, Lizzy, what do you want? And then working with myself to make that happen. I am pouring my energy into the things I value, the things I want, the things that light me up.

I still want things from my life. I still have doubts, difficult days and moments when I don't know what comes next.

But I'm no longer trying to convince myself that wanting more is a problem I need to fix. I'm not frightened of it. I'm not ashamed of it. In fact, listening to what I desire and want is a gift, and essential.

I've learned that I can be grateful for my life as it is and still want something different. I can feel frightened about change and still move towards it. I can listen to the part of me that wants more without immediately telling her why she can't have it.

And most importantly (if it wasn't already obvious!) I no longer believe it is wrong to want what I want.

You can be grateful for what you have and still want and go after something different. You can love people in your life and still recognise that a particular relationship or situation isn't right for you. You can have ticked all the "right boxes" and still feel that you're not living in a way that feels true to you.

You can listen to and trust what you want, even when you don't know exactly what comes next.

So, if you recognise yourself in any of this, I'd invite you to sit with a question:

If you stopped trying to convince yourself that your life should be enough, what might you admit that you really want?

Lizzy xx

P.S. So much of what I've shared here comes back to self-abandonment — those moments when we silence what we want, or convince ourselves that our needs don't matter. I wrote more about this here: Me, The Master of Self-abandonment.